no, not THAT Glenn gives me an idea

In a comment to my emotionally overwrought post on the eminent demise of my universe, er, on Obama’s election, no, not THAT Glenn gives me a great idea:

I saw your admission about rewriting comments and leaving the names unchanged and giggled. I wonder if some smart coder could come up with an AI-type way to automate that in midst of the act of posting.

It would make moderation obsolete! Not to mention the other virtue of maybe making the heads of oxygen-wasters explode. (That’s not what I wrote!)

To which I replied:

I love the idea of automating comment editing! You’d have to have some way of detecting moonbattery, however. Maybe write a little script to measure the moonbat content of a comment, and then:

if moonbattery >= .3 {
else {

Also, it’s not an ‘admission,’ per se. I proudly advertise the fact when I do it. Example.

It might be similar to the evilly brilliant Sean Gleeson’s Autorantic Virtual Moonbat, which is WELL worth your time (especially if you have been engaged in mortal combat with moonbats lo these last eight years).

Update: This all started here at Rachel’s, so I blame her.

6 comments so far

  1. no, not THAT Glenn on

    It would take work. Understandable codespeak here is problematic for me; as a hardware guy, I usually work down to bare metal and am an old stack dude (Forthian) so c is a difficult second language. And since I choose not to blog myself, and mostly just mooch, I would not have the data in reach to work it anyway.

    As you top-down code here, the first task would be to assign real moonbattery = 0.0; (though, again as a Forth-type, why can’t it be an integer) and then increase its value cumulatively (I say +! and you say +=) based on CAPSLOCK and presence of searchkeys, exempli:

    “concerned conservative chrisian”
    “loose” used as a verb

    I’m sure there are lots of other clues.

    Your screwWithCommenter(); word — woops I mean function could do a lot of its work by merely streaming the text through and doing some substitutions, e. g.,
    “bushlied” <- “The President was truthful,”
    “bushitler” <- “Our respected President”
    “rethuglican” <- “asshole Democrap” (preserving trailing “s” if present. I guess that’s two entries.)
    “wingnut” <- “moonbat”
    “concerned conservative chrisian” <- “lying commie troll”

    Some more work might be needed in spellchecking, sentence structure, etc, but perhaps it would be better letting the original ignorance shine thru. Unfortunately, this calls for actually reading a bunch of that garbage, not that there’s a shortage or anything. I’m even getting crap for a comment I left under a YouTube video where I noted little kids do so talk about stuff like politics and sex. At least we did when I was a kid. But I’m old and maybe that’s been dumbed out of them by now.

    This may not, in fact, be worth the effort, but certainly more valuable to society than time wasted crafting virii and spam. I’m flattered eitherwise. Thanx for acknowledging my existence.

  2. no, not THAT Glenn on

    Thanx for noticing wittleold me. I tried to leave a serious reply here but it didn’t take. Maybe too long for the box. You can look me up and I’ll email it if you’re curious.

    cttoi, I used some words that might have got it filtered out.

  3. lumpenscholar on

    NNT Glenn, for some inexplicable reason your longer post was caught in spam filtering. I approved it, so it’s there now.

    And this could be really cool, except I don’t have any time to code these days. Alas …

    Thanks again for dropping by!

  4. no, not THAT Glenn on

    …caught in spam filtering…

    Plausible, indeed I see a good half-dozen reasons why.

    …except I don’t have any time to code these days.

    Nor have I the skills, but you did try to publicize in hopes some wonderful person would tackle it for us. [grin]

  5. no, not THAT Glenn on

    Speaking of good ideas.

  6. lumpenscholar on

    Now THAT’S funny. I have no doubt he’ll make millions, just in time for the economy to go down the crapper.

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